Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Radical Thoughts

There's a women in my group that is challenged with the questions and the work book we are going through. She's a pastor, actually, and she's simply not use to being a client.  She doesn't know how to be on the receiving end. I totally get this, I too, have a difficult time being on the receiving end of therapy.  I don't like it.  She came to me and said "none of this makes any sense, I can't do it!" I challenged her with this: "what if it's not suppose to make sense right now?" Her mouth dropped open and she responded with "that's a radical thought!"
I had the same thing happen to me earlier while I was having one on one time with the facilitator.  He is very good at what he does, and very discerning.  I like him, because he tells the truth, he doesn't hold things back at all. He tells it like it is, and I can see that he is genuine.
I asked him about some of the current issues in my life, and we had a fascinating chat.  He said "Bethany, you are such a free spirit, you are healthy and well, do not let anyone tell you otherwise." Ah, how did he know that it would feel so good to me to hear that? Even though this is something I know about myself, I really needed to hear it from him too. Yes, I have issues, yes, I have stuff to deal with, but none of this stuff is holding back my Spirit and my life! Once again, I am praising God for the freedom He has so graciously given to me. I'm praising Him because He is so real.
We were doing an imagery about ways that we protect ourself, and the thing that came up for me was The Wall.  When I do not feel safe, I put up a wall of protection.  In my minds eye, Jesus came to me and stood behind me.  I was standing outside in the cold and it was snowing. Jesus put a big fluffy fur coat on me, a hat, gloves, and boots.  Then, He wrapped His arms around me, enfolding me in total warmth. It was lovely.  It felt like the sun was out, shining on me.  Jesus said to me "Bethany, sweet child, kick down the wall, I am your safety, you don't need it."
He has proven to me over and over again that He is my safety, even when unsafe situations come up and I get my emotions hurt.  Jesus comes in and helps me, and I grow.  I grow in such a way that I am able to help others break down their walls and show them the safety and beauty IN Jesus.
I will choose to trust Him with my safety, and let the wall go. It's the right thing to do, even though it's the hard thing to do.  I will reach out to those I love, and even to those I am challenged to love, and I will be warm to them too.  Now, there's some radical thoughts :-)
In His heart I will abide, and I will learn, and I will live to my fullest potential. In Him, today, tomorrow, and always.  Say That again Jesus, You are here with me, guiding me, laughing with me, loving me, and being my safety!

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