Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Foothold

A friend asked me yesterday if I had considered whether or not it was a ploy of the enemy of my soul to defeat me by undermining my ability to trust church leadership? I think this is a great question, and I've been thinking about it and praying about it a lot since she asked me.
What does God expect of me, of all of us, when it comes to trusting church leadership? As I've said, there are not many I trust, I've had a year that has revealed to me that few are trustworthy. But, the ones I do trust, I believe are very godly leaders and they should be in the position they are in. God uses everyone though in some way, to teach, to guide, He turns all things into His purpose. It always looks different from God's point of view, from my point of view, it's limited and I move slower with the ability to trust only a few.
As I've said, the year anniversary is coming up soon. A lot of changes happened. My friend and I experienced a huge blow-up and it impacted not only us but many of the people around us. It was at that point my journey began, where leadership became either my friends or my foe. Some in leadership embraced us, others shunned us.
For some reason I feel anxiety about this anniversary date. Like maybe the sky will fall down again, or we will have a repeat year, or who knows. But, I do know that I have learned that through the trials, ministry is about reaching community, reaching hearts, telling others that they are loved. And, that does not have to be done through a church. It is done through Jesus and His people. I have learned that some days Jesus will ask me to stand alone, again and again and again, because it is only Him that is my strength. I have learned that there is indeed leadership that cannot be trusted, cannot follow through, cannot do as they preach, cannot look deep inside, but Jesus loves them and is using them too. I have learned that my ministry is not mine, it is God's and it will come under attack, often. But, it will also prevail, because it belongs to Him and He prevails. I have learned that God is God and He is King, He is the great I AM, He sees all of this, and He reveals it for a reason. He has brought me through a very revealing year, for a reason, now what do I do with it?
I will not give the enemy a foothold. I will choose to move forward, although I do confess that sometimes I process slowly on some of these issues. But, I will move.
In Romans 8:37 it reads "None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us I'm absolutely convinced nothing-nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable -absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."
Say That Again, Jesus, nothing will ever get in Your way, NOTHING!

1 comment:

  1. Bethany, I saw your post on Mary DeMuth's site and could relate to many of the things you said-growing up with shame, a frozen soul, and then I was healed through God's redeeming power. I'll be back to visit again.


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