Monday, October 10, 2011

The Faith

I'm working at being relaxed. Is that possible? In ten days I speak in MI, and God has pointedly said to me that He will speak through me, I don't need to make my own agenda. I don't need to write something up, or practice in front of the mirror, or my friends. I need to trust Him and rest in His words. So far, so good, but I still find myself pondering the what if's....What if I get to Michigan and I stand up in front of all those lovely ladies and my mind is blank? What if my words are muddled? What if I have no clue what to say? What if I start out great and end poorly? What if, what if, what if? It could be bad. I could be embarrassed. It could be the end of something that hasn't really even started. Oh dear, Bethany of little faith!
I depend on others for talking anyway. I can be merrily talking away, and suddenly my words have escaped me. But, lucky for me, there's usually a friend nearby that knows me well enough that can rescue me with a great word that works perfectly for my sentence, so she can insert the word where needed, and conversation can continue along in a happy fashion. But, if I'm standing in front of 100 or so women giving a talk and I'm at a loss for words, I don't see that happening. And, my friends won't be traveling with me to rescue me from my  dilemma, so it is a faith growing moment for sure!
To distract myself from this issue I have been thinking about what I should wear to this faith growing event. This is Michigan, after all, so it seems obvious to me that boots are a necessity. That is about as far as I have made it in the area of wardrobe. Boots with a dress? Or with jeans? Or dress pants? What does a child of God who is speaking in Michigan wear? I don't know. I dress like a hippie, but I have a feeling that I should take off the tye dye skirt for this event and wear something a little different. Any ideas?
Okay, enough for the frivolous. This morning Jesus kept bringing Hebrews 8 to my mind. As I was reading it, I realized that He was saying to me that just as His covenant is in my heart, so is His testimony.  He will be my God, and we will be His people. He has forgiven us, and He remembers our sins no more!  His Spirit is deeply rooted within me, He has promised that to me, and with that promise, He will speak through me words of hope, love, courage, boldness, and truth.  And, the people will know Him!
Jesus, Say That Again, because I need to keep hearing you say it. My faith needs to continue to grow, as You grow in me. You have captured me IN your Hands, and I am Free In You. Thank you Jesus.

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