Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The Distraction

Our retreat to the lake has been much needed. I have done a lot of soul searching while here. I have prayed. I have thought. I have napped. I have soaked in the sun. I have had good wine. I have had long sails on the lake. I have journal ed. I have enjoyed good food, and good conversation.  Above it all, God has brought clarity more every day to me, I have been distracted!
I have known for a long time the calling on my life. He wants me to speak. He wants me to speak into the lives of women, to tell of the way He has brought me from darkness into light. He wants me to tell my story, to speak of His splendor and His beauty.  He does not want me to be quiet anymore!
I have not always been clear on what that looks like! So, I've explored by teaching classes, helping with women's breakfast's, asking God about other positions.  I've looked at this, I've looked at that, but I need to be right here, where I am. God wants me to focus on Him, He has a great plan for me, and that plan is for me to speak for Him. It is not a plan to be in Women's Ministries. It is not a plan to teach classes. It is not a plan to teach lots of classes. It is a plan to speak for Him and to reflect His image. He told this to me years ago, and His plan does not change. I am the one that wandered around, exploring, asking, thinking, wondering, being silly, entering into the battle.  He was there waiting for me, arms open, smiling, telling me the entire time that His purpose for me is to speak.
Jesus, I hear you. But, I'm asking you to Say That Again. And, to keep on. Say That Again, Jesus, because I need You to remind me that your calling is irrevocable. You have blessed me with a gift, I am putty in your hands, mold me Jesus, use me, speak through me!

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