Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Fight

It rained ALL day yesterday and I woke up feeling unhappy about that.  Normally, I like the rain, but when we get it everyday (slight exaggeration) I'm not liking it so much. As my husband pointed out to me, "We've only had about 4 days of sun this year!"  That didn't really help my mood, at all, and I was quick to sarcastically "thank" him!
The not so happy feeling, turned into an all out fight within me. All day long I battled with thoughts of despair, joylessness, quitting, anger, jealousy, and frustration. God and I dialogged about this all day. I would give Him my thoughts, and feel better for about 30 seconds, then they were back again. GRRR, again, I would plead with God to take negative thoughts, show me the root, free me from myself! The constant surrender to His way, the fight of taking it back, the hope of something better, the rest in knowing that He is in control, the drain of the day.  Yes, it went on and on.
Jesus, today, You have blessed me with sun. You have given me strength and desire to live today with You by my side. You, walking with me, holding me, showing me the way. When I am tired, I know You will carry me, and shine light on the path You have laid out before me.  I know You will fight for me, today, and everyday.
So, I'm not running today, I'm resting IN Him, knowing that His plan does prevail. He has a plan, which is reassuring. His plan is one of restoration, hope, redemption, and peace. I like that better then the plans that pop up in my head. His plan works.
So, Say That Again, Jesus. You are here beside me, fighting for me, being my advocate in every walk of life. Your light shines ever bright!

1 comment:

  1. Ugh. I hate those days when you're stuck. Then you (well I do) get caught up in the fact that you're stuck, etc. etc. I hope today is better!


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