Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Odd-Ball

My confession today is that even though I am aware that I am often the Odd-Ball, it doesn't matter to me!  I remember thinking at some point in my life that I would just like to be able to "fit in" with the people around me. I would like to be able to speak, and be comfortable, and just be.  But, now, as I move through my life, I am seeing that Jesus is not calling me to be comfortable. He is calling me to speak through the trial, to walk in a manner worthy of the calling, and He has never called me to "fit in" .  He didn't fit in, He isn't typical. He doesn't see anything the way the world sees things. His thoughts are not the thoughts of man. He would be considered an Odd-Ball.
I still have those days when I think "I'm not going to keep doing this!" And, God whispers back, "Yes, you are! You are a daughter of the King, no one can take you out of my Hands, Bethany. You are Captured, You are wrapped, I have you, now GO!" And, as odd as it seems to me, I go. There are some days that each hour is a step of faith for me, because I'm not exactly sure what He wants me to do next. And, I keep asking Him questions, or giving Him thoughts that may seem odd or silly, but I need to know: "God, do you want me to go visit this friend now? Do you want me to say this now? God, is this true? God I'm thinking these thoughts, what do you think? God, I'm heading this way, but I'm so unsure right now, stop me if I'm wrong! God, I need you to fight for me, send help! God, I'm so emotional right now, take all these emotions before they take me! God, don't let me down now! Jesus, I confess, I don't know what to do, speak to me!"
The daily, unending conversation with God. Say That Again, Dear God, answer me when I call, You are my life line. You and only You. Odd.


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