Friday, February 10, 2012

The Meek

This morning I continued to read the book my son loaned me, The Pursuit of God. It is a small book, but deep and full of wisdom. It is taking me a long time to read and my son keeps asking me if I have finished it yet. I called him the other day just to say "I love you" and woke him from a deep sleep. His first question in his drowsy state was "did you finish the book?"
In my reading this morning, the chapter was about meekness and rest. The author, A.W. Tozar addressed the issue of burdens, the burdens we carry, our internal burdens of the heart and the mind. The kind that are crushing and heavy, like pride. Ewe...really? Pride?
I found his next words convicting: "As long as you set yourself up as a little god to which you must be loyal there will be those who will delight to offer affront to your idol. How then can you hope to have inward peace? The heart's fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of a friend and enemy, will never let the mind have rest." He goes on to offer relief by explaining: "The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort."
I had to ask myself some serious questions. And, humbly bow before Him at His throne. Even though I have prayed for Jesus to be my Mighty Defender, my heart has still been offended, and wanted to find many ways to self protect. As I have taken out the bricks of the walls that are built around my heart, pride has been written on many of those bricks. And, as I hand the bricks to Jesus, I'm asking Him to crush them, I don't want them back, I don't want to rebuild the wall! I am praying for meekness, and the knowledge that the One that resides IN me is greater, and that is all that I need. He protects my heart, as I have said, my Defender.
I am learning that life is full of many long lessons, and it takes awhile to learn them. I'm walking up the spiral staircase, round and round, facing similar issues in different ways as I go round and round. Learning from my Jesus, for only He is worth my effort.
So, Jesus, Say That Again to me. You are my Defender, You are molding me to be meek before You. I come to You, surrendered.

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