Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Visit to the Doctor

I went to the doctor today to discuss my options. I'm still in a lot of pain. The surgery I had last Friday was a little trip inside my abdomen to try to figure out why I am in pain. So it seems I have some very disruptive veins, and some scar tissue that is causing havoc, and some inflammation, all of it put together is making for a lot of pain and pressure." Discomfort" that is what the doctor said to me today. But, I felt the need to correct him and clarify that it was far more than discomfort. Pain, this is plain old pain.
So, I get to have another surgery on Friday!  Friday is surgery day, and just because I had one last Friday doesn't make me less anxious today. So, I've been sitting in my office talking to Jesus about the pain, the pressure, the anxiety, and the big surgery that's coming up on Friday.
I'm thinking I will need to stock up on chocolate covered ice cream bars with nuts. And, fuzzy socks, even though it's not cold outside.
The doctor said the recovery time is 6-8 weeks. I asked him if I could still go to a training that I am due to go to near the end of this month, and he said that he would make me comfortable enough to get me there, as long as I promised not to do anything strenuous along the way or once I was there!
It is hard to put life on hold. It's a challenge to just stop everything and to ask the people in my life to wait til I feel better. I want to squeeze recovery times into a shorter space of time and I want to find solutions. I keep asking Jesus for direction, and then I sometimes question if the choices I've made are the right ones. Surgery is a big choice, but it seems like the only way to go at this point.
So, I'll be heading off to more IV's and skinny beds, and super sterile rooms.
This morning I read Psalms 50, and my favorite part was verse  4:

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul.

So many times throughout my day I need to speak the name of Jesus, and when I do, He comes and He helps me. He sustains my soul. I am certain I will be speaking His name when I visit the hospital for my second surgery, and I am just as certain He will be there to help me and sustain my weary soul.  Say That Again, Sweet Jesus, You are my Help  and my Sustainer when I call. 

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