The Fruit

It is the day after Christmas, and as I sit in the quiet of my home and reflect on yesterday, and Christmases past, almost 30 years with my husband, I feel humbled and amazed at God's gifts to me. It is because He always brings me through this season with something good, even though it's not my favorite time of year. I am very challenged this time of year, yet so blessed.
I am challenged almost every Christmas, yesterday was not an exception. But, let me tell you about the blessings, the fruit God has grown in my life. Yesterday, as I recognized that Christmas is actually a time that saddens me, I was able to reach out for support, and it helped. I recognized that I don't have to understand why I might feel sad or even have to explain myself, it's okay to just reach out and check in with someone that's willing to say "I'm here for you." I found that by checking in, I didn't check out!
My heart is full with family, as I've mentioned so many times. My sons that are so faithful and loving. God has blessed my husband and I by making them Godly men, and by working daily on their hearts. I love watching them, hearing them, seeing the way they interact with their wives. I enjoy listening to the memories they have of Christmas past. I can't wait to watch them as dads.
My husband has given me a nestled life. He has been a spiritual leader and his kindness and allowed me to grow  and feel nurtured and loved. God has blessed me through him and God has blessed our children through him. My husband has been an example of how to abide in Christ, and therefore be fruitful for Him.
I could go on, because of the amazing rescue that I so often talk about, the fruit He has done inside my soul. Jesus, touches, changes, blesses. And, He is still doing all of this as I write, each day.  There is still work to be done, it is a long road. But, Jesus is walking on the road beside me, and fruit continues to grow as I rest and abide in Him. It is a journey that supercedes all journeys. I'm staying on the road to meet the challenge with Jesus, and as He prunes the branches, more fruit will grow. This is His promise to me, and to you.
Jesus, Say That Again to me, you are  on the road with me, through every challenge.

The Visit

Our grandchild was born one year ago today! She is a Christmas Eve baby, and it's hard to believe that a year has gone by already. I remember the day well, how exciting it was to think that we had a new member in the family. And, the feeling of walking in the hospital room and seeing her in the arms of my son, so little and so warm, and so beautiful.  All my sons were there with there wives gathered around to see this little child, and it was a delightful sight. And, they named her Bella Brady, Brady after her daddy.
We had the joy of spending the first few months with Bella and watching her grow, but after her parents moved out we have not seen much of them. Her mother has needed space from our family, and does not visit. But, this Christmas, we chose to visit them. It was the first time to play with Bella Brady since she was three months old, and it was very nice. We sat on the floor with our son, and his daughter and gave them gifts. We took pictures. We slowly introduced ourselves to our grandchild that has been kept from us, and it felt like a basket of mixed emotions. Some were exciting, some were painful, some were anger, some were confused, some were joy, and many I didn't even know. As I looked upon my son with his daughter it was clear that he has been stricken with love for his princess daughter, and I was pleased.
I have spent hours praying for God to bring truth to hearts, his heart, the heart of his wife, the hearts of everyone in our family, so that we will be in complete unity. It only takes one person to step away, and not want to be a part of the family and discord is then a wound. But, we have been blessed with a strong family unit, beautiful children, another grandchild on the way, and promises from God for reconciliation.
Thank you Jesus for the visit with my grandchild. It was good and I pray for more. Give my son the ability to bring us more. Give me Your heart through all of this and Your strength and Your wisdom.
Say That Again, Jesus, You want me to love in all circumstances, and to believe in reconciliation!

The Deed

 I have been asking Jesus to love my children through me. I need Him to love them through my actions, my words, my very essence.  The very essence of love is meeting the needs of others. And, my most important assignment from God is to meet the needs of those who are close to me. My husband and my children. I know I can't do that, I need God to work through me to do this.
The days that my daughter is screaming because she doesn't want to eat eggs for breakfast or my son is crying because my daughter is screaming. The times when my stinky dog is just a little too stinky. And the times when my husband is out of town and I am sick. The days that I feel drained, stretched to my limit, pulled in a millions directions, and I just want to stay home forever where I feel safe.  I need God to pulse through me, be my brain, be truth, fight for me, be the love in action, the rescue, the revival, the retreat, the rest, the everlasting promise!
Life isn't life without God. My deeds are worth nothing if they are not deeds done through His hands, His love, His way.  His arms wrapped around my child will show love, His Hands will feed my family, His words will speak kindly, He enables me. Praise to Him!
Say that Again, Jesus, thank you for using me to minister in deed and truth to my family.  Keep working through me, Jesus, use me for Your Kingdom, teach me, love through me!

The Good Friend

Lately I've been praying for God to be my brain. It seems like a good prayer, some re-programming, as my husband would say. It wouldn't be the first time that God has had to go into my brain and move things around a little, or a lot. Shake things up, or settle things down. Whatever the case, I'm thinking that having His brain, with His thoughts and His words is at the top of my list this Christmas. So, with this prayer,  this re-programming I want Him to use me more. I prayed that He would show me how to be a good friend. We did talk about it for awhile, and I did some writing on it in my journal. After thinking on all of this for a bit, God sent me to Colossians 4. I've read this chapter many times, and have never seen the good friend part, but today He showed me and it was pretty exciting to me.
In verse 5, the writer starts with saying this: "Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out." And so, there it is, "the most of every opportunity" hmm, I can take some time to think on that and pray for grace on that, because I know this is something I do not always do. And, to be gracious in my speech? Or, bring out the best in others in conversation? All of this is what a good friend would do, and this is how I want to be all the time. Jesus, program me like this.
In verse 7, he talks of his good friend Tychicus, a trusted minister and companion.  This is a friend that encourages in the faith. And, then he speaks of Onesimus, another trusted and dear brother, that brings information to Christians. Both of these friends are ones that he trusts! They are faithful companions. A good friend is trustworthy at all times! And, a good friend is faithful.
Verse 11, speaks of Justus, his friend that stuck with him in working for God's Kingdom.  And, Epaphras, a man that was tireless in his prayers. Praying that the people stand firm , mature, and confident in everything God wants them to do.
He goes on to mention more Good Friends, and encourages them to do their best in the job each one has received from the Master!
I want to do my best as a Good Friend in Jesus! To be a trusted minister of who He is, and to encourage others in the faith. A faithful companion, and a sticky friend for His Kingdom. I want to be the one that prays for His people and with His people. Jesus, program me to be all of this and more. To do life Your way! To be the kind of friend that You are, a good friend.
Say That Again Jesus, You are a Good Friend , my Friend, and I know that you live IN me. Your character resides and shines through me and your people, thank you for your programming!

The Puff

In the last 12 hours I've seen two good friends. We've had some good talks. I left my house. Really, this is an event for me lately because I am staying home with my kids and my dog. It's been nice. So, when I realize it's time to take off the sweats and put on the jeans, boots, and coat, I feel like I've accomplished something big. Everyone should know about this, right, I've left the house!! As I drove down the hill this morning, the road was covered in a new dusting of pure white snow and it was still dark outside, I was praying to God about truth. He brought Psalms 39 to my mind. I didn't get to read it right away, but the conversations that I had last night with my friend and this morning with my friend tied right in with this chapter that God brought to me and I thought it was cool.
Last night my friend and I were talking about truth and how I've been praying for God to reveal truth to me and how I want to speak truth. Psalms 39 begins by saying: "I've determined to watch steps and tongue so they won't  land me in trouble. I decided to hold  my tongue as long as Wicked is in the room. Mum's the word, I said, and kept quiet. But the longer I kept silence, the worse it got--my insides got hotter and hotter. My thoughts boiled over, I spilled my guts."
I was telling my friend last night that I had decided to pray for God's leading in truth and believe that His words would be my words and I would no longer hold my tongue, then this morning He gave me this verse! Imagine that. I would continue to speak my story, and allow His continued freedom!
This morning, as I was with my friend, and we prayed together and we visited. God showed me the beauty of His love. He showed me the deep impact that the wicked can have on another and when we are quiet about our stories, we really do get hotter and hotter on the insides! We, I boil over in various ways until I am no longer in the relationship that God intended me to be in with Him.
Further in this chapter it talks about how we are all just puffs of air! I am just a puff of air in the scheme of this life story.  A spit in the wind, a shadow in a campfire. I am a born rebel, waiting for the grace of Jesus to save me. Praise to Him for coming up behind me and wrapping me in His Robe of Righteousness, and keeping me in His arms.  He purges me, puts me through the fire, and the idols that I hold onto, blow up in smoke, gone. But, yes, still, it is always all about God, and not about me, I am just a puff. Having said that, He can use even puffs.
Say That Again, Jesus, use this puff of air to speak the story of who you are. To speak against the wicked, to run into your arms!

The Rescue

It is almost Christmas! I've had a few people remind me of this, and I guess I need reminding since I've done very little to prepare for the big day.  First of all, the last couple of weeks, with my husband gone and my body ailments I put it all on the back burner. Then, this last weekend, I just hung out with family at home. I've been wanting to just be home lately, it feels good at home and I like it. I had big grandiose plans yesterday that the kids and I would venture out and get most everything done in one clean swoop, but by the time I got home I was tired and that idea quickly dissipated. We went to the post office, and that was the extent of our adventures. Even with that, my son sat in the car pining that he was not at home, playing with his friends. And, my stinky dog even looked forlorn and sad about something and made the car extra stinky while I was in the post office. We drove home with the windows down....in December.
So, today is another day, and I guess we will try again. God and I discussed it all this morning. He basically just told me to rest in Him. So, what if it never happens, and I don't get the stuff done? I know I've been sorta recluse lately, nestled in my house, writing, reading, talking to God, spending family time, resting as God has asked me to. I've been processing thoughts, thinking about truths that He has brought to me, talking, and talking some more.
This morning as I worked to focus on all the beauty that God is doing right now, the blessings, leaving behind my list and my concerns, He pointed me towards this verse in 2 Peter 2 "So God knows how to rescue the godly from evil trials. And He knows how to hold the feet of the wicked  to the fire until judgement day."
As I read this verse over several times and continued to hear Jesus say  "rest child" it was coming together for me. An evil trial could be anything, for me it might be my Christmas list if it takes my focus away from Jesus. It might be Christmas, especially if Christmas is a time that brings  unpleasant memories, rather than good ones. An evil trial is whatever takes away my rest in Jesus. The origin of that evil trial is the enemy and the enemy often uses others as instruments in his battle. But, God knows, and he will hold the feet of the wicked to the fire until the judgement day!
So, I am resting in His promise of rescue. I've been rescued so many times I can't even count them. I know He does it well. And, in His rescue I will rest in His hands. Captured there forever.
Say That Again, Jesus, You rescue, You Save,  and In you I will rest!

The Sermon

We go to church in the valley over the hill. I like it a lot. I like it because it's one of the only places that I have gone every week where truth is heard consistently about who I am IN Jesus and who He is. I like it because the words spoken there are challenging to me, and because I know, that God wants me and my family to be there. I like it because I can actually feel the Spirit of God moving throughout the building as we worship, and I know His power is there. It is amazing.
The sermon today was tingling, it made my heart want to open up even wider to God and ask Him to show me more, tell me more, be more! It was all because of His statement about Mary, the mother of God. God chose to use a young a child, probably around the age of 13 to be the mother of Jesus. The Holy Spirit came upon her and she was with child. Never had it happened before and never has it happened since! Wow, we do hear the story of the virgin birth all the time, especially at Christmas, but do we really HEAR it? Do I really HEAR it? This young girl was chosen for the impossible to carry the King.
She pondered many things in her heart, but I can't even begin to imagine. Being a mother of four sons, I try to put myself in her position and think, what if? How could I even begin to wrap my brain around the fact that my son is the son of God? He is my precious child whom I need to raise and protect and teach and love and discipline....oh yeah, and worship! This child will someday be the child that dies for my sins! What?  How did she cope with that? She was His mother, He was her Savior! She was the chosen child that God hand picked to be the vessel for our King. She is the one that nursed Him, changed his diaper, protected Him, nurtured Him, watched Him grow, and then stood at the cross and agonized as He died for her sins. He was the loving  Son that tenderly told His disciple to take care of His Mother.
I hear the Christmas story every year. I read it the bible often. It's in my head. But, I'm asking Jesus to really weave it deep within my heart so that I truly get the depth of what this is all about. I have not grasped the magnitude of what He did for me by coming to this earth to be a babe---from King in heaven to babe on earth.  The miracle of Mary's pregnancy, the way it felt to her to go through the shame of not being married at the time, the faith she must have had. The gift of Jesus, is bottomless, I say that, but I want to understand it more. I want to know more of the passion of this gift, and I want to share it.
Say That Again Jesus, tell it to me in a sermon, your Word, your people, however You can, I want to hear.