The Maze

There was a maze. It had several rooms. It had several hallways. It had several floors. It was big. It was confusing. It provided rooms for special events.It provided safety. It was a great escape, a hiding place from the real world. It was a place to run.
The Maze had walls. The Maze had bolts. The Maze had doors. The Maze had lots and lots of people.
The Maze was created by the woman and managed well inside her head. It made her crazy. At least that is how other people viewed her. Crazy.
But, it was the maze that kept her alive. It was the maze that fractured her. It was the maze that made her work, and the maze that broke her.
She didn't know God had blessed her with a creative mind. He gave her the ability to cope in unusual ways, to survive, to live in a world that was very different, until He could soften her heart and rescue her. It would take time. She was afraid. She did not trust. It was not safe.
She drew the maze and gave it to a friend for safe keeping. Then God healed her mind, her mind was the maze. He took the woman and touched her, she touched Him. Just like the woman who touched His robe and was healed from her bleeding. This woman's brain stopped bleeding. The Maze isn't there anymore, but it is remembered in some ways, and the woman trembles at the memories.  All the women, with Mazes, tremble at the memories. All the women with Mazes are reaching for His Robe, none of them are crazy!
Jesus, Say That Again, to me Your Woman. Me, Bethany, I was the woman with the Maze and I need to hear from you how much you want me to love others. I need You to tell me to reach out to others in tenderness and compassion, and never let go. 

The Little House

There was a big church with a lot of godly people. It was a nice church. The people sang songs every week and they prayed to God every week. They talked in the foyer every week. It was a mighty fine church.
There was a woman that came to the church that had a gift. She knew she had a gift because God told her it was her gift, and she knew when God was speaking to her. He was pretty clear to her.
A lot of the people in the church did not think that God actually spoke audibly to anybody, so it seemed a little weird to them that the woman was saying that God spoke to her. Oh well , some people are weird.
The woman stepped out and offered her gift, but the leaders in the church didn't see the gift as fitting in their box, so they pushed it away.  It was a gift that was not wrapped properly. They didn't really want it, they thought she should keep it for herself. It wasn't time for her to share her gift.
She felt a little sad that godly people were so harsh and could not hear the same spirit. But, God calmed her and gently whispered to move on. She turned and walked away. The woman knew that God would not waste the gift that He had established. So, she opened the doors to the little house in another town and asked women to join her.
Broken women came, and they learned. But, it didn't happen easily. The church might have been happy and used the little house, but instead they chose not to. And the woman was sad.  And, the enemy divided, even in the family.  And, the battle raged. But, God made a promise to the woman that He would expand the territory of the little house, and so He has.  And, God sees victory again and again.
And, the story continues with the little house that sits downtown waiting to shine more and more. It has been given to God to shine for His glory. It is used, and used, and used. Supported by one business, used by many, scorned by some.  A place of healing, God's light, a place to be fed spiritually, physically, emotionally. The little house of memories.
It continues to give, give, and give some more. And, the woman prays. All the women pray. And, the church doesn't see the gift of the little house,  it's torn, it's open, it's raw. It reminds me a lot of the gift that is not accepted in its own town, yet has so much to offer.
Jesus, Say That Again, Keep my heart open to all your gifts, don't let me reject them. I want to see through your eyes, hear through your ears, speak through your mouth. I want to see in the little house, and in the church and bring unity, Jesus, use me, send me, minister through me!

The Summer Visits

I had no idea what to write about this morning. That is unusual for me. Normally, I sit down, and five minutes later I have a post all down. But, yesterday it was the same way, nothing. And, I didn't bother to ask God because I didn't want to know what He would tell me. Today, I asked Him and He brought to my mind to write about my summer visits to my grandmothers house.  When that come to mind it was a mixture of good smells and smiles, but also I thought of her telling me of seances, spirit guides, and palm readers. She was not a Christian, and had no desire to know Jesus.
I loved my Grandmother. I loved that she fed me meat sandwiches even though I was a vegetarian. I love that she put coffee in my milk,  and sugar on my buttered bread.  I love that her purse smelled like juicy fruit gum.  I love that she held my on her lap. And, I love that when I drew on her wall with her lip stick she kept it there til the day she died! I love that my grandmother adored me.  She canned fruits and vegetables all summer long and baked treats in her kitchen.  She loved to watch game shows like the Price is Right. And, she wished that my mom would marry someone like Perry Mason.
She gave me my Christmas presents early, then went out and bought me more. She always woke up early on Christmas morning and loved to see me all the time. She always had pizza and cold cereal and milk. She never told me that I couldn't eat. She didn't say no!
My summer visits saved me. They were a relief for me. My grandmother was a godsend. I don't know where her heart was when she died, she was unable to speak on her death bed. God knows. Her heart towards me was very kind and loving.
Jesus, thank you for giving me this blessing through my grandmother. Allow me to bless others in this way.
Jesus Say That Again, summer visits impact the lives of others.  I drew on her wall and she kept it for years. She fed me when I was hungry, and she held me. She loved me. You worked Your love through my grandmother!

The Stupid Little Dog

Our naughty little dog is now our stupid little dog. He is cuddled up beside me as I write this, for he has no idea that I feel this way towards him. And, I do not intend to let him know. He follows me everywhere, as I've mentioned before, and I know that someday, when he is no longer with us, I will probably miss him.  But, I will not miss the stupid things he does.
This evening my husband and I were sitting in the family room, just enjoying a quiet evening and the little dog decided that he would make a bed out of the blanket that had fallen to the floor. He worked diligently for a long time on this project and I watched him. Then, he walked away from his worked, perched his leg and peed on his bed. Stupid little dog!
He knew right away, when I yelled his name, that this was not an approved behavior, and he ran to the door. But, of course the blanket was drenched in stupid little dog by then.  He stood outside the door peering in as if he had been banished for no good reason.
Now, since he peed on the bed he made for himself, he thinks he needs to sleep on my blanket as close to me as he can get. After all, he thinks he is a sweet little dog. I have friends that have been totally conned by him, they think he is sweet too, they have not met the naughty, stupid dog!
So, once again, I am reminded by my dog, that it is not behavior that brings God's favor upon me. He loves me because He is God and He wants to be in relationship with me. He wants me to sit close to him, even after I've done something horrible. He wants me to follow Him around everywhere He goes, all the time, and listen to Him.
Jesus, Say That Again to me. You love me. You accept me. And, I don't deserve it.

The Awakening

As I was writing in my journal this morning and reading my bible, God spoke again to my heart and told me to go to the House of Prayer, and to go "now". I've learned that it's best to get up and do what God says when He says it, rather than do it later, so I put my stuff aside and left my house. I headed North to a place called The House of Prayer. As I entered, there were two gentlemen there at the front desk, both of which I introduced myself to.
Our conversation was quick to move to how God was going to bring an Awakening to the land, to our community. And, I did not hesitate to admit that God had put this on my heart. The man that started House of Prayer was there and he was eager to talk about revival, as was I, because I know in my heart that God is going to bring a revival. It is going to be like a hot fire upon our land, in our community and many people will be filled with the Spirit of God. Truth will be on their hearts and in their minds, and I know God will be like a wild wind going through out the land, swirling around us, yet stilling our hearts so we can hear His small calm voice. He has said it, so it will be true.
He said it to the man at the House of Prayer too, and I bet He has said it to others as well. There will be an Awakening, He is all about reviving the hearts of those that sleep.
The sick will be healed, the dead will rise, those that can't see Him now, will see Him. I think that sometimes I don't give God nearly the credit He deserves because I can't even imagine what a revival could be, It will be bigger than I know. God is big. It will be bigger than Elijah knew. Bigger than the disciples knew. Bigger than anyone before me has known, because that is how God works.
And, because His love is crazy for me and for all of us and He wants to save us.
There was a time that I couldn't speak, because it was too scary, and He revived me.
There was a time that I couldn't think a solid thought, and He put my brain back together, He revived me.
There was a time that I couldn't be alone without being tormented, He gave me peace, He revived me.
There was a time that I wished I were dead, He revived me.
Now, because He lives, He washes over me with His blood and revives me everyday. He talks to me and promises me that there is more to come. And, I've seen it happen just as He says, so I believe it. Get ready people, revival is coming!
Say That Again, Jesus, You will Awaken your people with a revival in the land!

The Time line

I've been working on a time line for my life, so far there's not that much that I remember. As I've been going, I've been asking God to bring back the memories that He wants on my Time line.
Last night as my husband and I were discussing the time line, we thought about our children and what the time line of their life will look like when they grow up.  Will our son look back and not remember his days of basketball, or the fun summers with his friends? Will our daughter forget when she had her ears pierced or our trips to the beach?
Will they be able to look back at the time line of their lives and see where God has kept them and walked with them along the way? How will they see the rest of us in the family? Everyone has different perceptions, different feelings, different ideas....
This morning as I was reading in Romans 4 about Abraham and his time line of faith in God, there was a one-liner that I grabbed onto: "it was by embracing what God did for him that Abraham was declared fit before God!"
I think that much of my time line entails me trying to do something for God, or even worse, ignoring God altogether.  Yet, as I look at it, I can see that He was still embracing me, God was embracing me until I was ready and capable to embrace Him. And now, I'm captured in His hands, embracing His freedom!
I only made it to age 21 on my time line, I have a long ways to go. This morning I thought about my future time line and the promises that God has made to me about that.  It entails a walk with Him, embracing Him and knowing that He has a calling and a plan. It's wrapping up the past time line, so it can be used to help others in the future, it's a long process, I've discovered.
Say That Again, Jesus, You are my time line, because you make me who I am and You are my focus and You bring me my resolve. I will look to you for yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

The God I Serve

I like to write on my walls. It's fun, and it reminds me of important things, like versus that I like, or special quotes. Today I was writing some words on my wall about who God is just as a friend sent me the same word about God being a God of reconciliation in her life!
God is:
Reconciliation
Resolve
Renewal
Redemption
Revival
Restoration
God is:
Light
Love
Life
God is:
Joy
Peace
Hope
Courage
Faith
God is:
The Beginning and The End
He is the in Between
God is the One that holds me together, the one that put all the pieces back.
God is the one that takes the broken hearted and makes us complete IN Him!
God is God, He gives us Kingdom on earth and Light in darkness. God is the way, the truth, the path, the doorway. He is always open, never closed, always with me, my safe guard, my provider.
He Loves Me, God IS, He always IS, He just IS.
Say that again God , You the I AM the One that IS will stand forever. You are GOD.