Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Random Thoughts

Agape, the ministry God has blessed me with, is having a women's retreat this summer. I have found that I am putting in a lot of time to make it a God-inspiring retreat. My team at Agape is willing to put in the time too, and we will be starting to prepare decorations this weekend. I've been collecting trash to turn into treasure.
 I am in a place of isolation right now. I spend a lot of my time doing ministry, and then craving to be home in the quiet of my house. When I am home I think about the war we are in and my part in the everyday battles. The unseen enemy of my soul is constantly putting a battle in front of me, the kind that makes it challenging to have a ministry, or women's retreats, or to figure out what to do next.
In my quiet moments I have been reading a lot. I've been reading about things like Spiritual Wisdom, Spiritual Gifts, and Prayer. I've been reading that I have the mind of Christ, because God's presence lives within me. I've been reading about gifts of the Spirit like the gift of prophecy, serving, exhortation, giving, and leadership. I've been thankful for the gifts God has blessed me with.
My son stayed home from school today and we watched a show on TV about a guy that makes cakes, really nice cakes. We sat in the big round chair together and cuddled, while the cake guy made a lot of cakes. It was really nice.
A close friend came to see me today and we talked about several things, then we ate soup. Lentil soup with sour cream on the top, and it was good. We went for a walk, then we sat outside in the swing and prayed together. "Where two or more are gathered..."
I took a jar and glued glass pebbles on the entire thing. My husband said that it looks like some kind of treasure that one might find deep in the ocean. Treasure, that's how God thinks of me.
And, I fed my children burritos. They are starving all the time and as soon as I finish with one meal, it seems they are asking about the next. I don't have a plan for the next meal.
Last night I talked with another friend about what I believe. What do I believe really?  It was a deep, and heartfelt discussion, and I am praising God that I know what I believe. Yet still, in all the belief, I have days of doubt. In all the miracles around me, I can still be a skeptic. Even though, I am a Saint through Jesus, I still sin. Do I believe He has set me free? Do I believe He will protect me? Do I believe He has captured me in His Hands forever? Do I believe?
And now, here I am with all my random thoughts, giving you a glimpse of just a few. Deep down inside my soul I know that the Lover of my Soul, is alive and well. He continues to impact my life, He continues to reveal His Truth, He continues to talk me through the battles, and He always loves me.
Say That Again, Sweet Jesus, You keep pursuing me, holding me, and loving me. Ah, Say That Again!

1 comment:

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