The Fellowship

God has blessed my family with a lot of good fellowship. Yesterday I went to the coffee shop to meet a friend and it was a great surprise to see two other friends there too! It was like frosting on the cake, and God reminded me of His love when I was able to sit down with them for a couple of minutes and have fellowship with them. My time with friends in fellowship is always good, and then my time with family in fellowship is very sweet. It is a joyful blessing.
Yesterday we went to church and the worship was powerful. There were a couple moments that I was moved to tears because of the intensity of God's Spirit upon the room and His people.  I was experiencing God's fellowship right there in the church and it was humbling and beautiful.  The message was filled with truth and an intensity that I have not heard from the pulpit ever before and I was excited to see what God is doing and where He is moving.  Fellowship in His community, with His people.
This morning  I woke with an uneasiness in my belly. It's Halloween. I don't like Halloween, it does not represent fellowship with Jesus. It's all about darkness and evil, and it doesn't have good memories for me.  I've never been excited about Halloween. But, Jesus, is the Victor, still. He is victorious over Halloween. And, so am I , because He lives IN me, and He has given me authority.
So, I read 1 John 2 this morning and it's not surprising that one of the verses pointed out this: "Your fellowship with God enables you to gain victory over the Evil One."
Yes! The more fellowship I have with my God, the more I will know truth, and the more victory I will have over the daily battles with the evil one!  I think this is true with His Body as well, the more fellowship I have with His Body, close intimate, REAL, fellowship the more victory I will have over the evil one!
We are having friends come to our house tonight for Halloween. We are making caramel apples, and we are going to have fun. Good friends, because God has called us into fellowship and love. And, because I am choosing to rebuild days from bad to good. And, because, We are victorious Saints called to march forward in the battle with our armor on!
So, Jesus, You have given me fellowship in many forms, and called me into fellowship. Blessed be your name! Say That Again, Jesus, Let the Saints have fellowship with the Father and with each other and they will be victorious!

The Rebuilt Day

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of when my friend and I had a breech in relationship. It was a very difficult time for both of us, and it was the launch of an extremely rough journey for both of us, a long year. The ripple effects of our breech was far reaching, and it is still touching my life today, and hers, and the lives of others.  God works in incredible and amazing ways.
A year ago, shortly after our situation, it was hard for me to see very far into the future. All I could do was just cry out to God to fix it! I just wanted Him to make the pain go away. It felt like everything had really gotten out of control and I just wanted to run. If I had known then how bad it would really get, I probably would have run! But, God gave my husband and me endurance and kept telling us to hang in there and to persevere, which we did. God was faithful, as He always is. We journeyed with Him, and it was difficult, painful, tearful, questionable, but the growth was incredible.
So, now, a year later, life is much different. My friend and I have reconciled, thanks to God's amazing grace. He works miracles. We spent the day together yesterday doing fun things and having good conversation. We enjoyed each other, we prayed together, we rebuilt the day. We had a manicure and a pedicure. We ate dinner, and went shopping. It will be a very nice memory in my memory bank.
Now, a year later, we are in a different church. I have been speaking. We have a Ministry house for women. God has expanded our territory greatly, just as He promised.  He is good. Now, a year later, my faith in Him is greater, my love for Him is stronger, my vision for community has more passion, my drive for relationship and reconciliation has no end, my love for family cannot be put into words, my desire for sharing His Kingdom is compelled by my love for the heart of Jesus and His healing power.
I have witnessed first hand not only what He can do in my life, but what He can do in a friendship that has been very broken and very challenged. To me, this is amazing.
So, Jesus, I have watched you rebuild walls, rebuild emotions, rebuild lives, rebuild relationships, rebuild hearts. You are the builder, the cornerstone, the Master planner. I am the one that simply surrenders it all to you so you can do your thing, and you do it well.
Say that again, Jesus, You are the builder in my life! 

The Guarantee

The new wall for our mud room is up and today my husband and I picked out a new door.  I like the door, it lets a lot of people into the house. It is welcoming. It's nice to see that there is hope for something that was so ruined. And, it feels good to me to see that the mud room will go on, it is being rebuilt.
I visited with a friend today, we haven't been able to get together in a long time. But, the friendship between us is strong and true and when we come together we are able to just pick up right where we left off.  It is safe and good, and I always feel good when I am with her. She's a comfort to my heart.  She's my welcoming friend.
Early this morning as I was praying,  I was led to Hebrew 6.  I like the end where it says "We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up His permanent post as high priest for us in the order of Melchizedek."
When my life was in complete ruins, like my mud room wall, I certainly had to run for my very life to Jesus and grab on! And, on the days when my life is feeling good and normal, I still have to run for my life to him and grab on to his promises, believing him and holding onto to that lifeline for my very breath, knowing that with each day he will rebuild and renew me with his truth.
As I do this, I am welcomed into his presence, just like I am with my dear friends. I am safe, comforted, and loved. He knows me like no other, I do not have to pretend with him.
I'm approaching the year anniversary of when a friend and I had a breech in relationship, it's tomorrow. As I look back on this past year, I marvel, really on all that God has brought me through. It has been a rough year! I have grabbed on to his promises, for sure. He has blessed me with with hope, and he has been an unbreakable lifeline! There have been times that I have wanted to give up, the battle that came from that breech has been huge, but the growth has been even larger! God has shown himself very faithful through it all, and he has reconciled  me and my friend. But, it has not come easy. He has taught me to depend on him and trust him more, and for that I will praise his name.
So, what is the guarantee? It is Jesus. When life is ruined, he will rebuild. When we need a friend, he will provide. When we need his promises, his lifeline, something to grab onto, he will be there, when we think it's all falling apart in relationship, he can reconcile. He is the guarantee.
Jesus, Say That Again, you are my guarantee!

The Leak

Agape Celebration, our ministry house has a leak.  Several years ago, this house was our home, and my father in-law built a mud room off our side door. It has been a great place to put the boots, coats, and just stuff. Especially in the winter when the kids come in from the wet and the cold they need a place to put their wet boots and the snow suits, the mud room is perfect. Well, the perfect mud room has developed a leak over the years, and it seems that every year my husband either calls someone in to try to fix it or he attempts to fix it himself. But, this leak has been very persistent, and it continues to come back, drip, drip, drip. 

Finally, a few days ago, we called a friend. Realizing that the leak was probably more serious than we dare to speak, we asked him to take a look, so he did. And, it's true, it's pretty serious. It's like stage 4 cancer.

Drip, drip, drip!

Let me just say this, the mud room no longer exist, right at this moment. It was a surprise to our friend that the wall was actually standing, it was so rotten inside! Drip, drip, drip! He had to tear the entire wall down, even the door is bad. Everything had to go. He has started all over, rebuilt from the bottom up. Drip, drip, drip. 

It needs to be renewed, and restored. It was badly damaged. Drip, drip drip.

Thanks to Jesus for binding up my wounds! Thanks for rescuing me, for tearing down my walls of isolation, deceit, depression, illness, and despair. Thanks for covering me in His blood, for His redemption, His love. Thank you Jesus for fixing the leaks at the cross, for bringing me through the drips. All the drips. 

Jesus, Say that Again, You know every drip in my life, and You will bring me through every one of them!

The Dependent

The more I travel through life and the more I get to know Jesus, it is so evident to me that I must be as a child. Like my two young children are with my husband and me, always looking to us for answers, depending on us for their needs, trusting us to provide for them and meet their needs.  As I watch our son and daughter I marvel at the level of trust they have in us. They don't question whether or not I will feed them, clothe them, pick them up from school, love them, protect them, defend them, be there for them. They just know that I will be there, because I am. Jesus tells me to have the trust of a child, faith. Do I feel like that about Jesus?
As I have developed a relationship with Him, this has been my heart. This morning, I read John 5, and in there was this statement "the Father loves the Son and includes him in everything he is doing" and it struck me how when Jesus was walking on this earth he too had to practice the faith of a child in his Father.  Further down in the chapter it explains this: "the same way the Father raises the dead and creates life, so does the Son. The Son gives life to anyone he chooses. Neither he nor the Father shuts anyone out."
I was once dead, and He chose to give me life! I was once independent, and now because I am dependent on Him I have life IN Him. It is glorious. Sometimes, my faith wavers, and I slip back into that independent stage, but because He keeps me and loves me He brings me back to His throne. I am not condemned, I am not an outsider, but am, indeed IN His heart to stay.
Jesus, I am your dependent forever, complete in you. I choose to remember this today.  I am IN your heart and you are IN my heart. Say That Again, Jesus, I am Your dependent, forever.

The Anxiety

This is a beautiful time of year, but there is also something about it that creates an anxiety in me.  With each year; I have noticed it getting a little more intense, consequently, it is harder for me to enjoy the beauty of Fall.  I start to notice the anxiety creep in around September, and it stays until about December, October being the worst of it. I've made connections like Halloween not being my favorite holiday, and also not particularly fond of connecting this time of year with church functions. Isn't it fascinating how the brain, my brain, can store so much information, yet I am not totally sure what all that information is?
It only makes sense that God would lead me to Psalms 139 this morning, the search me verse popped right out: " Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way". Psalms 139: 23,24
I know that He can search my heart and bring to my mind the root of my anxious thoughts. He can show me what it is that hurts me, and lead me on a path of recovery and health. I know this, because He has done it over and over again. I am a living testament to God's healing power and miracles. It's just a matter of His timing and His will for me.
So, Jesus, I surrender these anxious thoughts to You.  I surrender this time of year to You. And, I trust You will lead me in the everlasting way. Say That Again, Jesus, You will lead me!

The Opposition

My weekend was a restful, yet a fitful weekend. I spent a lot of time praying and wrestling with God. I spent a lot of time sleeping and even crying, releasing pent up energy. God continued to whisper to me that the more I speak truth the more I will feel the opposition, but I must march forward IN Him. It is His power that will keep me moving, and there will be times that I will feel like I am in the valley. But, hearts will still be touched, lives will still be changed, sinners will become saints.
In Ephesians 6:10-18, He reminded me today that I have to be strong in the Lord's mighty power, and keep His armor on. This is the only way I will be able to take a stand against the devil's schemes.  This struggle is not against flesh and blood, it is against rulers, and authorities, powers of this dark  world and spiritual forces in the heavenly realms. So, I must always have armor. I must pray on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests, and I must always be alert and be praying for all the saints.
Jesus, You have kept me and carried me through. You have been there to speak truth through me and to touch others in incredible healing ways. I am simply your vessel, and I surrender my all to you to be used by You. Take me Jesus and further your Kingdom by using me.
Say That all Again, dear Jesus, put on your armor, child. Pray all the time. March forward as a saint, covered in my blood!