Monday, March 3, 2014

The Trust Journey

Trust is big for me, and I've been reading about it in my Bible the last few weeks. I know that when a trust has been broken; it takes a long time for that wound to heal. Sometimes I have wanted to simply will myself to just trust again after being hurt, but I have found that I cannot. I have to continually bring the broken pieces to God and tell him what is going on inside my heart, and wait for him to put me back together. I take steps forward, and then steps back. I continue to ask him to chisel away at any walls of protection I have built, and slowly the wound heals.

I see that in my effort to protect myself there is often silence. The walls around me have closed my mouth from being vulnerable, because I do not trust. Silence is not always golden. Silence, I think, can be hurtful. It can be salt to more wounds. I have to ask myself, "What am I afraid of?"

One of the trust verses I read in the Bible answered that for me:

When I get really afraid
I come to you in trust.
I'm proud to praise God;
fearless now, I trust in God.
What can mere mortals do?
Psalms 56:3

Sometimes I am afraid of what man will do or I'm afraid of the pain someone else could inflict upon my heart. Sometimes I am afraid they won't keep their word. Sometimes, I'm afraid to take the risk of getting my heart ripped apart. 

But then, I have to come back to this verse and God is telling me that if I trust in him, man will not have this kind of power over me. I can bring all my pain to him, and he will put all the broken pieces back together and make me whole. Maybe I will not trust in the same way, but I will step forward in his love and trust again because there is no fear in his love. 

I will continue to ask Jesus to put his trust and his love in me. I want him to Say That Again to me, "What can mere mortals do?" 

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