Friday morning I am scheduled to have the long awaited surgery. I have been anxious. It's hard for me to imagine, after all this time, that the pain my body has been in will actually be gone. It's also weird for me to think of body parts being moved around and removed from my body. I have all these veins inside of me and they have made a huge twisted web inside my abdomen, squeezing my ovary and pushing my uterus. It does not feel good. I'm not a very big person and there's just not enough room in there for extra stuff! But now, because of these destructive veins, my body will be changed forever, and that is weird to me. I'm not sure what it's going to feel like.
Today, I didn't feel as anxious. I prayed a lot. I keep coming before Jesus and reminding Him that I am the one He loves and adores and I need Him to calm my fears and I need His healing hand upon my body. Not only that I need Him to guide the surgeons hands on Friday as he skillfully cuts through my body. I am the one He loves and I need Him to enable me to trust the physician and his ability to do the job; I need to trust the physicians judgement as to what is best for my body!
As I studied with Warrior Sisters today, we talked about being seated in the Heavenlies. Jesus has seated me there forever. He hasn't given me a place to stand, but rather a place to sit. I can relax, take a breath, and let Him be in charge. God has it all under control, He is the One with the strength, not me. I can remain seated and rest in Him.
Say That Again, Jesus, You have seated me in the heavenlies, so I can relax in You.