The Good Days

My days are good right now, and I am liking this. Even in the midst of winter, my least favorite season, God has me in a season of good. It's a moment of stillness for me inside my heart, because I know that sometimes these seasons do not always last.
I am still working through my Bible; doing a word study on light. In the NASS there are 200 passages with the word light.  When I got to the book of Job, I was surprised to find so many passages that talked about light.  Job was having some really bad days, and the first time light is mentioned he cursed the day he was born, saying that he didn't want light to shine upon it!
Further on, he goes on to ask why light shines upon a man that suffers, or why is light given to someone whose way is hidden and God has hedged in? He describes how much he himself is suffering and how his own fear has come upon him. His days ahead are not good.
Finally, after many conversations with friends, God confronts Job. God decided to ask Job some questions, He asked Job if He even knew what he was talking about! He asked him if he was there when he created the earth. He asked him if he has ever commanded the morning and caused the dawn to know its place. He asked if Job knew where Light came from and where Darkness lives?
God asked him so many questions, it seems to me Jobs head would be spinning, then God wanted an answer.
Job realized he was insignificant. He put his hand over his mouth and could not give God an answer to all the questions, he just said " Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to You? I lay my hand on my mouth."
Then God asked Job more questions, and wraps it up by asking who can stand before Him? Who has given to Him that He should repay? Whatever is under the whole heaven belongs to Him!
Job answers God after this acknowledging that God knows all things and His purpose cannot be thwarted. He admitted that he had lived with a head knowledge of God, but now he had seen Him with his eyes and heard Him with his ears. Job asked for forgiveness.
God restored Job and brought goodness into his life, he had walked through a horrible valley of darkness back into light. And, it was good.
I know for me, I have had some dark valleys. I have had days that it has been very difficult to see any light at all, and then as the light comes it can be painful. The light exposes areas in the darkness that cause pain, it brings awareness. But, then, God has a process through that light as I learn to give to Him whatever His Light has exposed, and it is good.
Jesus, thank you for good days, and for walking with me in these good days. I will Say That Again, thank you, Jesus!

The Lamp

Just over a year ago a good friend of mine died. After her death, I went back to her home to be with her sister for a few days. It was a quiet trip, we didn't go anywhere, or really do anything. We sat on the bed a lot and talked. Even though it was a sad time, I look back on it with sweetness. When it was time to come back home, I had in my hand a box of jewelry that my friend had kept in her drawer for many years. Most of it was old brooches. I knew I wouldn't wear them, but it was nice to have something that belonged to her.
After a time, I decided to take the brooches and decorate a lamp shade. It turned out to be a unique project, and I like it a lot. Now, every morning when I get up and it's still dark outside, I turn on the brooch light, and I'm reminded of my friend.
Light has been a big topic for me lately. I'm doing a word study right now on light in my Bible, and I am finding that to be very interesting. I am currently in 2 Samuel 23; this is what it says:

He who rules over men righteously, 

who rules in the fear of God,

Is as a light of the morning

when the sun rises

After reading this, I jumped over to chapter 22, I noticed that I had a bunch of verses underlined there. And, it fit right in with my word study!

For you are my lamp, O Lord;

And the Lord illumines my darkness.

In the early morning, I can see the sun rise. It is beautiful. God's light begins to fill every crevice with light, soon my brooch lamp is not needed. The created light of God shines through. 

I have often prayed for God's light to shine through me. I want others to see Him, not me. There have been a lot of areas for God's light to illuminate inside of me, every day I find that there is another corner that needs His light. I am just a broken vessel, but He continues to bring all the broken pieces out of the darkened corners into His light, and it is very good.

Sometimes, to stand still in God's light is uncomfortable. When I do that I am allowing Him to deeply root me inside of Him.  When I stand still in His light, I am listening to Him, and giving Him my fears and my sin. When I stand still, I am admitting that I cannot control the situation. He sees me, I am not invisible to Him. He will shine through me, and still love me. When I stand still, the secrets cannot stay.

Jesus, You are my Light, and I love you. Everyday You are a Light to my path. Say That Again to me, You will light my path!

The Prayerful Heart

Last summer my Warrior Sisters and I chose a word to focus on for a year. I chose Prayerful. When I chose this word, I anticipated that God would lead me to places of praying with others more often,  but that has not been the case.   As I have prayed about being more prayerful, God has drawn me into a more intimate relationship with Him. He has asked me to tell Him more about my heart. He has called out the deepest longings that are lodged inside of me, the ones I didn't even know about, and He has put His WORD into my longings. He has spoken His prayer over me and shown me that to be prayerful for myself and the inner most needs within my soul is the first step to being able to really pray in an effective way for others.
Another gift God has given me as I have focused on the word prayerful is the gift of being prayed over. I have found healing in the blessing of others laying their hands on me and praying God's anointed blessing upon me. This has been a very intimate and powerful experience for me. It has confirmed the beauty of having others that are walking on their journey of faith pray before the Throne of God on my behalf.
I often think about Jesus and how he walked on this earth. What did it look like for him and his disciples?  Jesus was very prayerful. He prayed for God's will to be done in His life. He taught His disciples to pray the same way. Jesus prayed for His own needs, sometimes all night long. And, He prayed for the ones He loved. I wonder sometimes, what did Jesus and His disciples pray about when they were sitting around the fire on a daily basis?  Were they  having the heart to heart talks that I have now in my prayers with Jesus? Were the disciples telling him all about their fears, longings, shames, joys, etc? I think they were. They were laughing and crying, and it was all very intimate.
If I pray for God's will to be done in my life, then I want to have a very intimate relationship with Jesus. I want to know all of Him and let Jesus know all of me, because I am giving over my life to His will. That means nothing is left in my control anymore; it's all up to Him now.
Prayerful moments create intimate moments with Jesus. When I feel alone, I have gone to Him. When I feel rejected, I pray and tell Him what I'm feeling. When I get angry, I talk to God. When I have that old feeling of being replaced, I run to God and cry out to Him. When I get afraid, I start to repeat His name.
Jesus, I will Say That Again to you, prayerful moments have brought me to you in a deeper, bolder way, I am thankful for my prayerful heart.

The Constant Multitudes

My early morning reading was in Acts, and my prayer is for revival of the Spirit within me and all of us. I always want more of Jesus, and more of His Spirit and the Gifts He offers, more of His Spiritual blessings, for they are all offered to me. More transformation of the soul to look like Jesus! While I was reading in Acts this morning, I paused in chapter 5, verses 14-16:

And all the more believers in the Lord,

multitudes of men and women,

were constantly added to their number, 

to such an extent that they even carried the sick onto the streets and laid them on cots and pallets, so that when Peter came by his shadow might fall on any one of them.

Also the people from the cities in the vicinity of Jerusalem were coming together, bringing people who were sick or afflicted with unclean spirits, and they were all being healed.

Okay, does anyone else find this verse amazing? I do! MULTITUDES of men and women were CONSTANTLY added to their number. Not just a one day event, but CONSTANTLY. So, that would be like our churches today, constantly adding a multitude of men and women to their congregations. Can you even imagine?  It was such a big deal, people were laying around on the streets, they had to use pallets!

Peter, the guy that once denied Jesus three times, was now so full of the Spirit of God, that when he walked by all these people, they were ALL healed. God healed them through Peter, just like that! And, then more came, and they were healed, etc...

I pause, and I wonder, what happened? The Spirit of God is in His people now, but when I walk by a sick person they aren't healed. So, why not? How come multitudes of people are not constantly coming to my church, or any of the churches in my community?  What is going on here?

If we, as God's Bride, have God's Spirit, when will we heal the sick, raise the dead, give sight to the blind, and raise our hands in praise and jump for joy?

Jesus? I'm going to keep on asking this, and I know you will answer. I'm going to Say That Again, MULTITUDES were CONSTANTLY added!

The Life Verse

The first verse I remember learning in the Bible was Psalms 27:1. It has always been one of my favorite verses, and the verse I always turn to. I call it my life verse.

The Lord is my Light and my salvation,

 whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the defense of my life;

whom shall I dread?

There's been some circumstances in my life the last few months that have made it clearer to me why I have loved this verse. For me, having God inside of me as my Light is a reality. He lights my life, He lights my path, He lights my words, He lights anything that hints darkness. When I begin to feel afraid, He brings in light and shows me the way. 

As I have focused more the last few months on the Gospel and abiding in Christ, He has drawn out my insecurities, and lovingly filled them with His light. This has been an amazing experience for me. 

As I've looked at the insecurities and fears that continually pop up in my life, some in lesser degrees, Jesus continues to come to my defense in every area. He has been a soothing balm on my wounds, and a blazing light to the darkest fears. When I am faced with feelings of rejection, sadness, loneliness, or I just want to "be done", I have been able to pray in such a way that God lights my soul and defends my heart. It is good, because salvation comes to my being, and the dread is gone. 

Jesus, Light of my life, Say that Again, over and over!

The Evidence of Love

The last couple of days I've been reading in the book of John a lot. The disciple John is the one who always made it clear that he was the one Jesus loved, he was the favorite. At the Last Supper, it was John that lounged beside Jesus with his head resting on His shoulder. At the cross, it was John, who stood at His feet with His mother Mary and watched Him die. John knew who He was alright, and I don't think he wasted any time doubting it.
In John's book he has a poetic way of recording the life of Jesus, and I have enjoyed mulling it over in my mind, and resting on certain passages for long periods of time. This morning I stopped on this passage in chapter 17, versus 22-23:

I'm praying not only for them

But also for those who will believe in me

Because of them and their witness about me.

The goal is for all of them to become one heart

and mind-

Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,

So they might be one heart and mind with us.

Then the world might believe that you, in fact, 

sent me.

The same glory you gave me, I gave them, 

So they'll be as unified and together as we are-

I in them and you in me.

Then they'll be mature in this oneness,

And give the godless world evidence

That you've sent me and loved them

In the same way you've loved me.

Jesus prayed this, and it really struck me how He prayed that we would have evidence that God loves us as much as He loves Jesus Himself!  The goal for those that believe in Him is to become one heart and one mind, with Him. I am to know Him so well that my heart beats as one with Him, my very thoughts are in unison with Him, then His glory will shine within and throughout me. With this unity throughout the Body of Christ, there will be maturity, which in turn is the evidence they need that God loves them, because we love them.
I am still praying for His love to be my love and for that love to love others. I know it is the only way for me to genuinely love people. I am still praying for His mind, heart, and soul to be mine. He is still changing me everyday, and it is good. My mind, heart and soul hear Him speak, and He gently says, "I love you, I will not ever leave you, forsake you, or reject you."  Jesus, Say That Again!

The Target

The last several months I've spent a lot of time reading the Gospels. Not only have I read them, but I've watched various sermons on the Gospels, and read a couple other books that talk about the Gospels. I have found it all to be a fascinating experience. 

Jesus was an unusual person while He walked this earth. I like that He always told the truth, and He wasn't concerned about what others thought of Him. This morning I read the story of Jesus feeding the crowd of 5000. It starts out with Jesus looking over the large crowd and then asking Philip where they could buy bread for so many people. Obviously, they can't buy bread for all those people, but Jesus still asks the question! Philip is quick to let him know that it is far too expensive to buy that much bread. In the mean time, Andrew comes along and lets Jesus know that there is someone in the crowd with food, so Jesus tells him to go get the food. They do, Jesus blesses it, and serves ALL the people.  

Fast forward to the next day. All these people had lingered through the night and now they want to find Jesus again. They want to eat, they are hungry! Jesus is nowhere to be found, so they go searching. When they find him, Jesus doesn't give them the breakfast they are craving. He tells them that He is the bread of life and that to be satisfied they must eat His flesh and drink His blood. What?

Most of them didn't like that, so they turned to leave. As they walked off, Jesus looked at His disciples and asked them if they planned to walk off too. They said no. Jesus watched all the people walk away, and He let them go. He didn't run after them. He didn't start preaching to try to entice them back. He just let them go. And, it happened a lot, he didn't seem to want to focus on the big huge crowd, really. His focus was more on the smaller few, the ones with whom He could build intimate relationship with and would take out His Word to others after He was gone.

If I am to walk as Jesus walked, to live in truth, then what's the target? Big crowds, or small intimate relationships? If I am speaking the truth, the hard stuff, how many people are going to walk away? Who will want to stay?

Jesus, speak truth through me. Be my words, my thoughts, and use me today to build relationships for your Kingdom. Say That Again, speak truth!