The Boots and The Diamonds

I listened to Brandon Heath's album today, and one of the songs I especially liked was Diamond:

My father’s father broke this ground
Daddy mined till we laid him down
Only God knows what they found beneath
Now here I stand in my own boots
Ax to grind and a point to prove
Tangled up in my own roots, it seems

I got treasure up in Heaven
I got dirt all over me
I have only scratched the surface
Of the man I’m meant to be
I got something down inside of me
That only You can see
Help me dig a little deeper now
And set that diamond free

Why do I do the things I do
All the things that I don’t want to
Act like I don’t fear You at all
Hard head and a heart of stone
Older now but I haven’t grown
Any riches that I have to show are small

Set it free
Set it free
Set it free
Set it free

Come down with your old flashlight
Underground, black as night
No telling what you’re gonna find in me 

I got boots for my birthday---I like them a lot. Like the song says, sometimes I stand in my boots, with an ax to grind, and a point to prove. And, while I'm standing there, I get all tangled up in my roots. As I'm tangled there, I also know I have a treasure up in heaven, but here I am, in my boots, just digging in the dirt with dirt all over me. I know that only God can really see me, even I can just scratch the surface. There's so much deep down inside, there's diamonds, lots and lots of diamonds.
Why are there days that I do the exact things I don't want to do? I've got a hard head alright, and sometimes I look at my heart and cry out to God to turn it from stone. I am older every day, with not a single rich in my pocket, but God You can move my boots to Joy. Shine Your light down below, in all the cracks that I bestow, You are Mighty, You are Bold, You Dear God can break the earthly roots, and untangle my boots!
Jesus takes the roots that tangle me up and lifts them up from the ground, He untangles me. He gives freedom as a gift, and wipes the dirt off my boots. He finds the diamond in me and shines it.
Say That Again, Jesus, You untangle the roots, wipes off the dirt, and shines up the diamonds.

I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. Romans 7:19

The Crash

My husband has had a blue Dodge Durango for many years. It traveled with us everywhere, and it seemed as if it would be a part of the family forever. But, we recently sold it, and my husband purchased a smaller vehicle. I have taken his car a few times when I go to town, one of the first times, the kids and I got stranded in a parking lot, because the "new" car broke down. We escorted it to the garage where it stayed for a few days for repair, I was not impressed.  My next experience with the new car was just after my husband left for a business trip and I was in a rush to get my children to school. We were backing out of the garage, and I sorta missed the mark, consequently I hit the edge of the garage door pulling the side of the bumper out of place---a lot.  I should probably add here that I have a poor reputation with garages. I pushed the bumper back in with my foot, in an effort to make it look a little better. I snapped a picture. I sent a text to my husband, confessing my sin. He knew right away, without me saying that it had anything to do with the garage, that the garage was involved. My husband's response was very kind and gracious. He was only tender towards me, and I did not at any time feel like his car was of more value than me. I knew I would be teased about it by family and friends, who wouldn't be? But, what really mattered to me was the man behind the car and how he responded, and his values.
God is the God behind who I am and all that I do. He has me covered. I am more valuable than the mistakes that I make, and He looks at my heart, He sees inside my soul, He listens to what I'm really trying to say. His grace and mercy are there for me so I do not get what I deserve, which is punishment and condemnation and a life in hell.  Instead, I have eternity!
Say That Again, Jesus, there are days when I will crash, but, You are there to cover me with Your grace!

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.   Titus 3: 4,5

The Groomer and Fur Ball

Fur Ball went to visit The Groomer yesterday. He came back feeling pretty good about himself, he is soft and puffy now.  When my husband went to pick him up The Groomer informed him that we had failed miserably at brushing Fur Ball on a daily basis. Actually, the night before Fur Ball went to visit The Groomer, my husband suggested that we give him a good brushing. But, to me it seemed like a futile waste of time to brush Fur Ball when he was going to go see The Groomer and get brushed.  To me it was like making the bed in the hotel before checking out, or taking out the garbage, before my son does his garbage can chore. So, I opted out of brushing Fur Ball, consequently, my husband and Fur Ball were scolded.
I don't know if the scolding will change things at our house too much, I feel like I've accomplished a lot if I get my own hair brushed in the morning, and remind my daughter to brush her hair! When would I manage to brush ALL of Fur Ball's hair? And, everyday? I don't see this happening.
Fur Ball's happiness doesn't seem to be contingent on whether or not I brush his hair everyday, He does seem very intent on getting fed, having water in his dish, an occasional trip through the garbage can, and he likes toilet bowl drinks as well. He seems to thrive on drives in the car, belly rubs, and nose dives in the snow. He hasn't yet noticed the fancy bow that The Groomer put on his collar, and I haven't mentioned it to him yet. I don't think he would approve; it's not very boyish, , but it does look cute, so I thought it could stay for a bit.
This is the last weekend of our Christmas break. Our children go back to school on Monday. Life begins it's usual routine, with more driving, more meetings, more of life's commitments. I have enjoyed my break to take some time for a slower pace. I've needed to lay low like Fur Ball for awhile and enjoy the simple things in life, like naps, ice cream, and buttons.
Fur Ball is laying on the couch right now, all four paws in the air. He is sound asleep; it's been a busy day for him playing in the snow, getting in the garbage, and chewing up a bone. His bow is still in tact, his belly is full, and he knows that he is loved. Hmmm, I am sitting in a great chair, I'm very comfortable, I've had a nap today, I've had food, I've had a lot of time to reflect on many things. I know that God loves me. I know that God has provided for me in miraculous ways, over and over again. He has reached down and brushed His robe against me, wrapped me up, held me, completely captured me!  I just want to Say That Again!
 Thank you, Jesus, You have captured me in Your Hands!

The Dot

God is big, I am not. I have to remind myself on some days that I have a very small role to play in the larger drama of this life. I see a very small portion of a very large picture that God is painting. It is never okay for me to say that God is not fair or just when I am unable to understand the magnitude of how He works and what He sees. Life feels unfair, but the reality is, life is fair because God is fair. I believe in a God that is just and fair, full of mercy and grace, love that abounds, my God will not forsake me! But, of course, when there is evil that runs rampant on this earth, and I live in a broken body; it is very challenging to see and feel like God is fair, just, and full of mercy!
I read Psalms 100 this morning and verse 3 says this:

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever.

From my perspective, it does not always seem good, life, I mean. So, sometimes that can be interpreted as God not being very good.  How could this happen? Why is this allowed? etc... God is powerful, He can prevent bad things. But, I also believe there is a source for truth, and that is His Word, I go there over and over again, continually I read about His goodness, His love, His Power. And, this morning, I prayed for Him to change my perspective even more, help me understand that I may not always understand the "why". Help me accept the fact that life here is a dot in the scheme of eternity, a dot that cannot have every question answered! "Isn't this faith?" I heard Him whisper.
Ugh, I know I've heard that whisper before. My prayer continues to be one that comes before Him asking for strength, courage, wisdom, and faith. Without Him life is futile, I can do nothing at all. My life here on earth is but a small dot, for really, life is about the eternity that I will live with Him. He tells me to  relax and not be anxious, for life here is just a dot.
So, as long as my dot in life furthers His Kingdom, and resides in Him, I've decided being a dot in the scheme of eternity is an honor. God chose every dot, in faith I will continue to move forward. Sometimes, I step back, but I know He is there to catch me. It's okay.
Say That Again to me, Lord Jesus, in this drama of life, you have the script. Thanks for giving me part of the story.

The Stand

Yesterday I read a devotional by Proverbs 31, it was titled Someone to Lean On. I thought of it again today because one of  the verses I read in my Bible was Nehemiah 9:17:

But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.

The devotional I read was presenting a challenge, do I choose to be a bystander, or a gap- stander? A bystander watches but does not get too involved.
A gap-stander, has deep empathy and learns through that empathy to take action. A gap-stander allows God to use her and the faith she has so that the person in battle can lean on her, for however long it takes. And, because God's strength, compassion, love, and empathy fills in the gap, there will be victory. God calls warriors to stand in the gap.
I have warriors standing in the gap for me. Because God has given me this gift, I am able to stand in the gap for others. The image this creates in my mind is a long bridge of grace and compassion, abounding in love, with raging waters below. But, I want to have hope and faith that we, all of us standing in the gap, will not let go.
As I stand in the gap for others I pray  that the power of His Spirit will bring love and compassion, mercy and patience, unconditional grace and kindness, just, fair, and impartial, to those that are leaning on me. This is His character and He resides in me. Jesus mold Yourself into the crevices of my heart and soul, so that when I stand in the gap, I am standing like You!
Say That Again, Jesus, my God, You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.

The Omniscient God

Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. Psalms 147:5

This is the verse I started out with this morning. Infinite understanding, there is no limit. God has perfect knowledge of the past, the present, and the future. For Him, everything is "one eternal now". All the stuff that I see in sequence, over time, God sees all at once, in it's totality.
I heard someone say a couple days ago that because he is a believer, safe in God's hands, there is no such thing as failure. The outcome of all things belong to God and God alone, he is simply there to follow God where He tells him to go. In the eyes of the world, the outcome may look like a failure, but God knows everything in it's totality, years from now. The supposed failure could be the onset of some other success that I cannot see!
God sees my all, every thought, motive, tear, desire, hope, fear, giggle, and smirk. He sees the goals I set and the ones I wish to set. Past present, and future.
So, why do I still get afraid sometimes? This is a lot of security right here in this one verse. GREAT is our Lord! Abundant in strength---it doesn't say that He has strength; it says He has ABUNDANT strength. I'm thinking that must be a lot. Then, to add to the strength, His understanding is infinite, past, present, and future. Everything about my past, present, and future He gets. In fact, He gets it so well, that He can explain it to me! He understands. I think this is why He so often tells me in His Word to NOT be afraid.
Jesus, Say That Again to me! Great is our Lord! Abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.

The Following

We celebrated New Year's Eve at a camp in the woods, Bear Paw. We arrived just in time for a steak and potato dinner, which I found pretty darn good. After dinner, we suited up in our snow clothes and headed outside to the sledding hill with a group of others and spent most of the evening sliding, spinning, and racing down the hill. I was a little cautious at first when we looked down the hill and noticed that at the bottom of the hill rested a lake, but my husband assured me, that it was far enough away that our children would not end their sledding adventures soaking wet.
After numerous trips up and down the hill, we gathered at the top of the hill and watched fire works. It was fun. And, it was cold. Children cheered and clapped, and asked for more. When we finished and everyone  made their way back inside for apples and popcorn, there was excitement and warmth in the air.
For me, there was a feeling of wonder and anticipation. It's a New Year, and God has brought us to many new places. Last night on New Year's Eve, He introduced us to many new people, and it was nice. There was conversation, good food, fun activity, and beauty.
So, on this New Year's Day I am asking Him about the next step. Where is He taking us? What is He asking of us? Where is He working, and how can I best serve Him to further His Kingdom?
Say That Again, Jesus, You have asked me to follow you, so I'm following.
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