Many years ago we had a cabin on the lake, it floated. We would spend a lot of our summer days there, and our boys really enjoyed playing there. Our family has many fond memories there. This weekend I had the opportunity to go back to the same area. I hiked down by the lake and by the cabin we use to have. I spent some time in the nearby campground and remembered the days I use to take my boys camping there. I thought about all the boat rides, hikes, dirt biking, tubing, fun, and hard work involved in having a cabin on the lake. My husband and I were young, and we were raising boys, and trying to make a living, and keeping the laundry clean.
Life for me at the time felt all messed up. I wanted my boys to have a good life, and to have it better than what life had been for me. But, on the inside of me, it felt messy and confusing. Going back this weekend and seeing all the same spots, I could remember some of those feelings. I could remember my little boys climbing the hills and laughing, and to me it felt like they would never get tired. I could remember the long hot summer days and, back then it felt like I would never be okay. It felt like my kids would never grow up, the days would never be short, my insides would never line up, and life would never seem to make sense.
I was wrong.
Now, this weekend, as I walked the same trails and overlooked the lake; it was all peace. Now, I know that even though circumstances can get really messed up, I am not. Now, I know that the Spirit within me has lined up with the Spirit of God, and I am not confused. Now I know that when I have days that do not feel okay, there is always tomorrow, and it will be okay again. Now, I know that all children grow up really fast, most days are super short, and with God, I don't have to try to make sense of everything all the time.
Early this morning I went for a walk. There was a huge rock down by the lake, so I walked down the hill and stood up on the rock. Everything was completely still. There were no people, just me and God. I thanked Him for the bountiful blessings He has given me over the last 20 years. My family, my sweet boys that are all grown up now and have children of their own, the ones I thought would never grow up!
I asked Him to prosper my mind in His mind, and my dreams in His. To continue to multiply the blessings in my life in such a way that His Kingdom is revealed within me and His light is illuminated. I asked to see His face.
I know it's going to be great.
And, the wind began to blow.
Tomorrow I'm back to a busy, full week. There are things to do, plans to make, and people to see. But, in my memory, I will keep this weekend safely tucked away as something that was very healing and good for my soul. God has a way of bringing me back to all the right places when the time is right. he knows when to Say That Again in my life!