The Hike

I was at home for most of the day. My son, Eli went with Cliff for a little while to visit Brady, and when he came back he was in a very grumpy mood. We tried to clean his room together, but it didn't take long for me to see that cleaning his room was a bad idea. So, we ate lunch, and sat down together in the chair by the fireplace and read Narnia. I read one chapter, and that's all it took to put us both to sleep. I loved the nap, my nine year old wrapped in a blanket cuddled next to me, and sound asleep. We both slept very well, and when he woke up, he felt much better.
After napping, the three of us, Eli, Ruby and I went for a hike up the hill to the freeway. They love to go up this hill and then try to get all the semi-trucks to blow their horns. It works almost every time! It's about a mile hike, altogether and it's good for our hearts. On the way home, we made various stops to look at old deer bones, broken sticks, a squirrel, a stream, and some favorite forts. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful Spring day.
After arriving back home, Eli was totally a new boy! He went upstairs and cleaned his room. Not only that he rearranged his furniture (every mother's dream--haha) Now, when I walk into his room, I run into his bed! But, it's clean, I can walk across the floor without falling over something.
Isn't it just like life? It's like my life anyway. I can be very grumpy about the stuff in my life that needs a little cleaning up. I can stomp around and complain about the fact that I should deal with a particular issue, but then when I get myself fed from God, and rest in His compassion and peace, and take His grace, it's not so difficult.
When I walk the walk with Him, take the hike up the hill towards His glory, I feel refreshed and ready to roll. I can surrender to His cleaning, and to His rearranging. It's better.
So, I look at life right now, and I'm asking Him what He needs to clean in my life. What do I need to surrender to Him? It's still relationships. I have to give them to Him everyday. It's one in particular that I hope to reconcile, but it's not happening, so I have to continually give it to God for His arranging and His perfect timing. I have to give Him the emotions that go along with it. Anger, sadness, fear, loss, betrayal, and hope, all this stuff that I can stumble over unless I give it to Him to clean up and take for me.
So, I continue to pray as I hike up the hill in life. Say That Again to me Lord Jesus. You will do the cleaning, the feeding, the rearranging. Thank you!

Until next time....

Don't Touch My Stuff!

So, I did some work in our closet. It looks great; it's all organized in a special way. I moved some of the clothes around, easier access. Well, my husband wasn't totally thrilled with my organizational skills. He didn't come right out and say that, but he was not overly excited. I didn't hear "good job, thanks for organizing the closet." Instead, I heard, "is it easier for you to get to your shoes with the closet this way?" Hmmm, yes! "Don't you like the closet this way?" I asked. His response, "yes, I just might do a little readjusting, I don't like anyone to mess with my personal space." Puzzled, my mind goes into the state of wonder. "Personal space? The closet? Wow, I didn't know that! Sorry!"
We got it all worked out, of course, and he left it as is. My shoes and boots are nicely aligned with the wall, for easy access. His clothes are hanging on two rods, high and low. It is a bit of an adjustment, for me because it's so clean and tidy. For him, because it's different.
There have been those times that I have said the exact thing to God. "Don't touch my stuff!" I start to feel comfortable right where I am, and I don't really want to grow, or look at what needs to change. I don't really want to get tidied up, it hurts too much.
God, naturally has a different opinion, but He isn't pushy, usually. He comes in with His skills, and slowly starts to point things out. He gently urges me to rearrange a few priorities, throw away a bit of garbage, invite generosity, clarity, and space into my life. Once I allow Him to start the process of tidying things up, I know it's the right choice.
He has had to do this with my life a lot. Clean up my attitude, sweep out my views, vacuum the dirt and dust from my heart. He's had to add His fruit and His power and His voice. And, I've continually needed to surrender to His way of doing it all.
It's much better for me, His way. It feels like that great wide open space in which I can run and play. Ah, it's relief, joy, peace, and love! I like it a lot, actually. I can see better.
Say That Again, Jesus. Touch me, cleanse me, tidy me up!

Until next time....

Until next time....

The Stories I Love

Some of my favorite stories in the Bible are  about Jesus traveling from place to place and touching the lives of those that He encountered.
I love how He walked along the beach and called out to Simon and Andrew saying "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." Simon and Andrew didn't even ask questions, they just dropped their nets and followed Him!
I love how the leper came to Him and fell at His feet.  The leper said "if you are willing, you can make me clean!" Jesus was moved with such compassion that He stretched out His hand and touched him,  Jesus said to him "I am willing, be cleansed." And, he was cleansed.
I love the story of when He traveled across the Sea and as soon as He got out of the boat He came face to face with a man that was possessed with demons. A lot of demons. This man was so crazy that the towns people had tried to tie him down to contain him.  He didn't have any clothes to wear, he didn't have a house to live in. He was alone, dispaired, and unable to think clearly. He would roam the graveyard at night screaming and cutting himself with sharp stones.  I love how this man, after Jesus commanded the demons to leave, sat quietly at the feet of Jesus! He had been transformed! He wanted to travel with Jesus, but Jesus said to him"Go home to your own people. Tell them your story-what the Master did , how He had mercy for you."
I love the story of Jesus walking in the storm across the lake. He was walking towards the boat where His disciples were. When Peter realized it was Jesus, he got out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus.  All was well, at first, until he started to sink! Then he called out to Jesus and he was rescued!
I love the story of Mary Magdalene.  She was brought to Jesus and basically thrown at His feet.  The pharisee's stood around them, condeming her for her actions.  Jesus, in His ever present mercy and love, started to write in the dirt.  Slowly, Mary's accusers walked away, their heads hanging.
I love the story of the women at the Well.  I love how Jesus went out of His way to travel to her town, and how He sat at the well.  I love how He compassionately began to tell her all that she had done, and she felt loved! I love how He offered her living water, how his desire to fill her up like she was a bucket, was overflowing in Him.  I love how she ran back to her village and spread the news of her salvation, and His love!
I love the story of the women that bled for years and desperately wanted to be healed.  She knew that if she could just touch the robe of Jesus as He traveled through, she would be complete In Him!  I love how she pushed her way through the crowd and reached out to grasp the hem of his garment, and she was healed.  I love how Jesus knew instantly that something was different, and even though hundreds of people were touching Him, he asked "Who touched me?"
I love the story of the man who brought his son who was mute for Jesus to heal.  The man had first asked Jesus' disciples, but they were unable to deliver the boy. The man said to Jesus "if you can do anything, have a heart and help us!"  Jesus said in return, "IF? there are no IF's amoung believers. Anything can happen."  The man cried out to Jesus saying "Then I believe, help me with my doubts!"  Jesus commanded the dumb and deaf spirit to get out of the boy, and he was healed.
I love how Jesus was hanging out with a crowd that was considered disreputable. Several of them had become His followers, and the Pharisee's were unhappy and critical of the company that He kept. They began to complain to His disciples saying: "What kind of example is this,  acting cozy with the riff-raff?  Jesus heard their complaints and was quick to say "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit."
I love the story of how God has changed my life from sinner to Saint! I love how He has traveled with me on my journey of life, and given me freedom.  I love how He has never abandoned me, but kept me close to His heart.
Say That Again, Jesus, You are traveling with me. Your freedom is my life. You will never leave!

Giants

We had a nice evening last night.  We took the dogs and went for a walk.  Our oldest son and his wife came along with their two dogs and a visiting dog.  Eli and Ruby came with their skateboards. And, we had our dog, Sailor. We hiked up to a point, then down to the lake, and all over some rocks.  Sailor is just like a mountain goat! So, not only is she stinky dog, but she is wonder dog, too!
The skateboards were a bit of a headache as we tried to navigate our way through the rocks, over the rocks, and around the pebbled beach! But, you know, skateboards must come along!
We came home to our house after our walk and made salmon, and steak strips for our tortillas.  Some of us like salmon, others prefer steak! We whipped up home made guacamole, and a salad.  It was very good.  Then, we played with Eli and Ruby.  They are really into tickling me, all the time.  Sometimes it's fun, others times, not so much.
We watched the movie, Facing the Giants. It was one of those movies that reveal the wonders of God. He prevailed, of course, doesn't He always?
He certainly prevails in my life, He is the one that has tackled so many giants for me. He has changed my entire outlook on life, and given me courage to move ahead in His passion and His will.
Giants like mental illness.  Giants like depression, despair, emptiness.  Giants like secrets, running, grief.
Giants like cooking, or just stepping out of the house. Giants like relationships.
This is the same kind of stuff He did for David, Esther, the Women at the Well. Giants that He tackled in their lives, He tackles in mine.
I read in 2 Thessalonians 2 this morning. Near the end of the chapter it says this "God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth." It feels good to me to know that I am chosen, and always have been. That through sanctification, which is tackling my giants, He is alive IN me. He builds my faith In His truth, and demolishes the lies.
God is the real Giant here. Nothing and no one can bring Him down. He is the true Giant that takes out all the destructive giants, the ones that try so hard to destroy our lives. And, each time He takes one out, sanctifies me, He gets bigger, the stuff gets smaller.
I don't always understand the process He leads me through, but I do understand the goal. And, I will have faith in His truth to take me through whatever necessary to reach that goal. To face the giants!
Say That Again, Jesus. You know all the giants that need to be tackled. You know the process. You are the biggest!

His Adventure

We hiked behind our house yesterday. We have a steep hill behind us and it's covered in pine trees, bushes, rock, and lots of mud. At the top of the hill, there's a lot of flat open space and the view is beautiful. We went to the top and to the other side, then back down between some very big rocks. It's the rock fort, and it's really cool! The rocks are completely covered in an amazing moss. There's about three different types of moss on them; it's lush, thick, and very green. And, the it feels so soft, like velvet. I took a couple pictures of the moss, and several pictures of our kids and my husband.
The kids are very comfortable there and seem to think that they can go anywhere on that hill. They easily forget that we have bears in our forest, or that they could easily slip off the edge of a cliff. To them, it's all a big adventure and they are out to explore, see, smell, and be kids. I like watching the excitement they have when we go up the hill. I like watching how brave they are. I like telling them to step back from the edge!
It does remind me of my walk with Jesus though. He is my Rock, my defender, my protector. He covers me completely IN His beauty and warmth. He asks me to step forward in faith and live adventurously. He is my security, my solidity.
There are times, I step back, unsure of what I should do, or where I should go. Caution ringing in my ears, because it looks like danger. There are times that I just go for it, running ahead without checking with God first, and I fall because He had a better way.
Today, I choose to let Him be my Scout. He knows that path ahead, and He has me covered. He is asking me to walk in faith, to believe Him. So, I will walk to the edge and believe that He is there to secure me.
Loving, trusting, hoping, waiting, and watching, all this is part of my adventure with Him. His hand upon me as the road is navigated with Him, and I discover more of who I am IN Him.
Say That Again, Jesus, You are here with me, right now. It's your adventure and You have invited me to come along.

Until next time....

Twirly Skirts

So, I got this new skirt. It's blue with grey birds on it. As I tried it on yesterday, I was blasted back to my senior year of high school. It's a full, twirly skirt. It has gathers. Just like a skirt I use to wear in high school. I knew I should have kept that skirt from high school, it's back in fashion again! In fact, my roommate liked the skirt so much, she use to wear it more often than I did.
I went to a boarding academy and my roommate and I shared clothes a lot. It was fun. We had the best room in the dorm our Senior year, and that's because I had earned it the year before by keeping my room the cleanest. Don't laugh, I know it's a little hard to believe, but I was tidy then.
The first weekend of April is my high school reunion, 30 years since graduation. I'm going to be there, maybe I should take my full, twirly skirt! I'm excited to see who will show up and what it will be like to go back after such a long time.
Never, in a million years, would I have guessed my life to be as it is now. When I was in high school, I was miserable. My heart hurt most of the time. I had issuations. Not that I don't have them now, I certainly do and they don't feel so great. But, now I know who the source of my deliverance is. Now, I have peace through the storm and hope. Now, I can wear the twirly skirt, and really twirl :-)
My daughter will not wear twirly skirts. She wants her jeans. I thought that if I wore more skirts and dresses it might rub off on her. Nope, not working. She is steady with the jeans and the floppy t-shirts. I bought her an adorable Easter dress, I'm packing it for the weekend of the reunion. Hmm, I wonder how well that will go over?
I read Galatians 2 this morning. It has nothing to do with twirly skirts, or daughters that want to wear jeans. It does remind me of something imperative to the upcoming reunion: " My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not 'mine' but is is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I am not going to go back on that."
Say That Again, Christ Jesus. I have the freedom to twirl!

Until next time....

Shoes

As I've mentioned before, my closet floor is cluttered with shoes. I have collected, a few! So, I decided it was time to sort through them and tidy things up a bit. Shoes bring back lots of good and sometimes not so good memories. I have my all time favorites that are lovingly held together with duct tape. I still wear them, because they are comfortable and they've been in my life for many years. I bought them in Texas. There's the red shoes, I don't wear them nearly as often, that I bought very impulsively and have found that they are not as comfortable. I have a pair of clogs that I wear pretty often, when it's not raining or snowing, so maybe not that often. In the summer I stick to sandles, keepiing my feet free and cool. I've got plain ones, and jeweled ones. And, flowered flip flops. And, then of course there's all the boots. I have short boots, tall boots, medium boots. I have really warm boots, cowboy boots, rain boots.
My encounter with the closet floor and my footwear took me awhile. And, then the next day when I went in my closet to get my shoes, I couldn't find them! It was so tidy, it set me back. "Where did I put those shoes?" I've adjusted a little more to the tidy floor, and shoe rack, but I have this sneaking suspicion that it won't stay that way for a long time.
So much like life! Messy, clean it up, messy again! As I move along and step into the path of God's light, I sometimes look back on the trail behind me and see where I have traveled and what life has given along the way. It's required a lot of different shoes to get through. One path, several shoes! Sometimes, the shoes I've chosen to wear have been very uncomfortable, others have been so nice, I keep wearing them until they have holes in them. Some have been neatly tucked away and pulled out for special occasions.
Whatever the shoe for the day, I have learned that God makes the steps. He is the path on which I must walk and He determines the pace. He is the One that completes my wardrobe. He clothes me and enables me to fit in uncomfortable and comfortable shoes.
When I walk through the rocky parts, He provides boots for me, and He warms me. He is there when it gets messy, and when I need quiet waters to rest by, He leads me there and soothes my soul. He is the perfect fit for every situation.
Today, I'm expecting a new pair of boots. They should be coming in the mail, and when they do, I plan to wear them. I hope they fit okay. I've been anticipating their arrival for awhile now, and I'm curious about the path we will walk on together. Just like my life, I'm anticipating what will happen today, tomorrow, and next month. With Jesus, it will be an adventure worth walking. I'm excited to be a part of His closet, and to experience the fullness of life with Him.
I'm going to Say That Again! Jesus, I've got my shoes on, lets go!

Until next time....

Until next time....