Saturday, August 8, 2015

When Death Visits

My mother died last night. Both of my brothers were with her, I'm happy she was not alone. She needed to have them with her. She was 85 years old.
It feels strange to me.
It feels sad.
It's 2am, I woke up from a restless sleep. I was thinking about my mother.
I keep telling myself that I need to hold off on feeling or thinking about this right now. Today is a very big day, my ministry team and I have been preparing for it for months. 
I need to focus.
But, focus may be challenging for me.
I remember the day my dad died; it felt strange.
In fact it seemed unreal, I didn't even tell anyone.
It took about a week for me to soak it in.
A friend called me last night to pray with me; it was comforting. She knew I would have all kinds of swirling thoughts, and I do.
Swirling thoughts.
It's a new chapter in life. Or maybe it's a new book. I am now without earthly parents. It's a strange place to be, I don't think any child ever imagines it to ever really be a reality.
Now it is.
It jumps me to my own life and my own children. Someday, they will be without a mother. And, even though they will have the eternal hope of seeing me again in the Kingdom; it will still be a loss for them that will be painful.
Death is painful.
I am sad.
I am sad for many reasons. 
I am praising God for His mercy toward my mother. She wanted to go, she was tired. 
Father, You hear our cry, and You answer.
Say That Again!

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to learn this. I hope the retreat was fantastic!


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