Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Surgery

My husband drove me to the hospital yesterday morning so we could check in for out patient surgery. It was my big day to hopefully settle my pain issue.
The day before my surgery, I also went to the hospital for lab work and an EKG. Here's my picture to prove it:

I did not feel anxious at this point. All I could think about was the possibility of getting rid of my pain, and how great that would be. I wanted surgery soon. So, even though I feel cautious around doctors and I do not like the hospital, I still moved ahead hoping for the best.
But, as the evening before the surgery approached, doubts crept in, and I considered calling the whole thing off. I was afraid that maybe the doctor would get inside and find something so horrible that he couldn't fix me, or the other extreme, he would look inside and everything was totally normal, and I would be told I was crazy! I wasn't so sure I could put my life in the hands of so many other people, strangers. How could I know it would be okay?
I battled the questions and the fear for awhile, and had a restless night. I prayed a lot asking God to give me the peace I needed and the ability to do the right thing. The next morning, day of the surgery, I got up, got ready, and went to the hospital!
It was a smooth process, my husband and I drove up to the hospital and they parked our car for us. We walked in to the elevator and went up to the out patient floor. They asked me my name, checked me in, took me back to a little cubicle, gave me a gown, and I put it on and got in the skinny little bed.
There was a constant buzz of activity with nurses coming and going and papers to sign. The IV guy came and put in my IV, and I hardly noticed. That's how good he was! There was blood pressure stuff, and lots of talking, and explanations.
I was feeling anxious after hearing about all the risks, and signing my life away. So when the IV guy said that he was going to give me some medicine to help with anxiety I was good with that. He also said that if I had any questions or anything important to say, I should say it before he gave the medicine because I would not remember anything. I didn't have anything to say, so he shot the medicine in my IV and the next thing I remembered was waking up in recovery!
But, the next thing that happened was pictures with more people!

This is the IV guy.

This is my nurse in the operating room.

This is my husband by my side.

 This is me waking up after surgery! I'm wanting coffee, and I'm grateful a friend has promised to bring me some, along with ice cream a little later.  My husband is telling me that the doctor found the source of my pain, but he was not able to fix me. I will need to have another surgery at a later date. But, at least I have an answer. The nurse is also asking me about my current pain level, and asking me what I want to eat so I can take some pain medicine to help. I vote for toast, but when it arrives, I cannot get it down my throat, so I trade it out for pudding instead.
My husband drove me home and I laid down on the couch. I dozed in and out of sleep. Then I went to the bed and I did the exact same thing. My friend came and brought me flowers, chocolate, coffee, and ice cream. We sat on the bed together and ate ice cream. It was good.

Another friend brought us chicken and salad, with other yummy treats for dinner. I felt loved and taken care of after my long adventurous day at the hospital.
God showed me again, that through Him there is peace and strength to do the things that seem impossible. He has given me the strength to trust at levels I didn't think I could, and the peace to know that He is in control. He is on the Throne and He is the One that has my life in His Hands all the time, so I can rest easy. When anxiety creeps in, I will pray, and pray, and continue to pray. Because I know, believe, and trust that He loves me. Jesus, Say That Again, You love me and You have my life in Your Hands.

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